Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Riding the Rails

Que the soundtrack...Simon and Garfunkel's "Homeward Bound". I was sitting in the railway station, got a ticket for my destination...hmmmmmmmm

Yep. You guessed it. I was doing my very own Jack Kerouac thing today. I hopped a train and headed South. Okay, I took the train because I had some business to attend to, but whatever. I have to say, riding the train is like taking a cross-sectioned slice out of North Carolina and examining it under a 50 mile-per-hour microscope. You really do see the state in a way that  you could never see by car and definitely not by plane. "The other side of the tracks" has a whole new meaning to me. You don't see any high-end retail backing up to the tracks or expensive condos (at least I didn't today). But I did see almost everything else. I passed four cemetaries...I guess "rest in peace" does not apply. I passed two auto junk yards and one scrap metal yard. Sadly, one had a beautiful creek running through it that is probably bubbling with heavy metals. There was some beauty also. I passed through a couple of small towns where the most beautiful, turn of the century homes were facing the tracks. I dare say that those homes probably hosted some interesting train passengers back in the day. In their glory days they were in the "location, location, location" making it possible to transport tobacco and other cash crops to be exported. I passed freshly harvested tobacco fields, one of which still had the old tobacco barns. I passed through the most lovely, deeply wooded land..pines and maples...made all the lovelier by the early fall color.

As an extra bonus, the train has a wonderful crew, AND free coffee and bottled water. The best part of all...the ticket was only $25 and my carbon footprint totaled a cost of three cents to the environment!

Friday, October 12, 2012

F-It Fridays

Ok. Ok. It's not what you think. I LOVE Fridays. Fridays (definitely not Mondays) are my fresh start. They are also an opportunity to discover something new every weekend. There is literally more to do than one person can do; however, I am going to squeeze something new in every Friday. To make it easier and more interesting, I am going to start with things that begin with the letter "F. You know: Food Truck Fridays, Found it on the Ground Fridays, Family Fridays, Friend Fridays, Famous People I Spotted on Fridays, Funky Fridays, Famished Fridays (obviously devoted to my love of eating in new restaurants), Film Fridays, Flouride Fridays (on my visits to the other man in my dentist. just kidding. that would be boring.). You get the idea. Look for a link on the right side of my page that begins with Friday (something). Can't wait until next Friday! Feel free to offer ideas or your own "Friday (something)" post.

And by the way...I didn't forget about my country friends! I will definitely post a Farmer Fridays link!

By the way, the letter "F" is an actual word in the dictionary defined as "the sixth letter of the alphabet". Who knew? I really hope I don't "F" this up.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Procrastination Parodies

While I was procrastinating getting started on work today (my usual time-suck is Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, or blog surfing), I was thrilled to find a blog this morning called "Project Procrastination".

Well, I was thrilled until I clicked on it. Did you click on the link? Can a person really be a true procrastinator if they are a new mom, trained psychologist, and Ironman triathlete? REALLY? I plan to spend the rest of the day truly procrastinating as a protest. I plan to enjoy the full on, guilt-inducing, anxiety-creating, nagging in the gut, "big black cloud over my head" kind of procrastination that only true procrastinators can enjoy.

After all, it's Monday. I have all week to get my "to do" list done!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

The Vagina Monologue

A couple of years ago I went to see a production of the much touted, critically acclaimed "The Vagina Monologues". It seemed so strange to me that the monologues created a version of our vaginas (which I'll refer to from this point forward as a "you know whatsie") as having lives of their own. I'm pretty sure that while I'm snoring soundly, asleep in my husband's ratty t-shirt and my tube socks, my "you know whatsie" is not donning a sexy dress and strappy sandals and going out on the town. Frankly, I just don't get all this talk about our "you know whatsies", so imagine my shock and surprise when I opened the New York Times Book Review a couple of weeks ago and saw a book titled Vagina: A Biography by Naomi Wolf. You may remember her from her feminist diatribe from the 90's, The Beauty Myth. No comparison folks. The biography of the "you know whatsie" is just plain crap. I promise I am a faithful feminist. Gloria Steinem is one of my heroes, but I'm pretty sure she never felt the need to talk openly about her "you know whatsie". She focused on the important things...equal rights, equal pay, etc. There is a reason our "you know whatsies" are called "private parts" and not "public parts". Women of the world, let's take a vow to keep our "you know whatsies" to ourselves and out of the public forum. It's not helping the cause. My new book, however, is likely to change the world. Coming to bookstores soon...Nose: A Tell All.

Friday, October 5, 2012

I Find the Strangest Things in My Purse!

Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I might find a nice boiling cup of water? I am just dying for a cup of this Miso soup that I found in my purse just now. I think every female should have to fly on a commercial airline at least once a year. We would all be required to clean out our purses! I know some of you change your purses like you change your underwear, but I am not one of you. I learned my lesson a couple of years ago. The airport security guy kept asking me if I had weapons in my personal carry on item. Imagine my shock! Weapons...WTF? Upon closer inspection, the "knife" in question turned out to be a metal tin of Altoids and a multi-use wine tool! Not sure why the wine tool was in my purse, but I had to agree with the security guy...the X-ray did show what appeared to be purse weapons. Anyway, I had to travel for business a couple of weeks ago and decided to clean out my purse to avoid additional hastle and embarrassment at the airport. I have to say, I don't know how this shit gets in my purse. I'm like an aging, crazy Girl Scout (always be prepared) bag lady. I suppose one never knows when you might need a nice cup of tea or instant Miso soup. I never know when I might have a crazy eyebrow hair that needs tweezing. Office supplies are always handy to have around. Of course, no self-respecting woman would leave home without a name badge (in case she forgets who or where she is!)

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Country Weddings

Remember that earlier post...the one with the picture of me on the tractor? Remember I said I would write more about that? Well, that picture was taken at my country friend's wedding. In addition to the tractor, they had pitchforks, old plows and shovels and all kinds of props. Well, I think they were props, but maybe I wasn't supposed to be playing with them. That's probably why the other guests were staring as I made my husband snap photo after photo of me with the props. Anywhoo, they live in a beautiful old farmhouse, and I wanted to share a picture my husband painted as a wedding gift to them. It is their house as it looked shortly after they exchanged vows in the early evening. My crappy camera doesn't do it justice!
Non-sequitur...Oh by the way, I just bought these boots. Are they city/country or what?

Peace on (Tiny) Earth

It really doesn't get any sweeter, does it? Great gift idea for friends who live in tiny places. Or maybe you believe in fairies. Or maybe you have an unexplained urge to participate in some good old-fashioned Victorian fun. I gave this one to my friend for her birthday.

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